chuck smith, c.s.s.
tuesday, may 2, 2:15 p.m.
donna: "great save jean! every sale that we save takes us one step closer to our goal."
jean: "that's right! all hail, jean, jean the sex machine."
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "jean, can you please refrain from such filthy talk. even though you are way past your prime, you can still cause a brother to stumble."
jean: "cause you to stumble? what the hell does that mean?"
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "into sexual sin of course or porneia to be more specific. to slightly paraphrase the words of my Lord, 'it is better for a woman to have a millstone tied around her neck and thrown into the sea than to cause one of my men to stumble.'"
jean: "and who the hell are you to say that i'm past my prime? you sexually repressed little fu…"
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "let me stop this edifying discussion right here. i have a call. 'thank you for calling the SS, where everything is possible! this is chuck.'"
customer: "good afternoon chuck, this is nancy at the baptist hospital of oklahoma."
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "praise the Lord! i cannot tell you how encouraging it is to talk to a fellow baptist from the Bible belt. every time i think i'm going to drown in this secular swamp the Lord extends a hand."
nancy: "actually, i'm not a baptist. i attend crosswinds community church in edmond."
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "close enough, nancy. close enough. how can i help you?"
nancy: "well i just received a shipment of product from your encouraging crosses series, and almost every cross is marred."
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "i'm sorry, every cross is what?"
nancy: "it's marred. there are little scratches on the silver plates that read "bless you boy" and "god's with you girl."
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "well of course, it's marred nancy. the cross was stained with our sin and strained by our disobedience."
nancy: "listen, chuck, i'm not looking for theologically correct product, i just want crosses that sell. can you send me a return label for these items?"
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "i don't think so nancy. if i let you return a perfectly good cross today, i'm afraid that tomorrow you'll be tacking Christ back on the cross just like our "friends" at baptist st. anthony's have. in the end, rejecting these crosses wouldn't just be bad for business, it would be bad for your faith."
nancy: "chuck, quite frankly, i find your line of reasoning insulting. can i speak with your supervisor."
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "i'll do you one better sister. i'll talk to him myself. for one moment."
"ronnie, this is chuck. i have a customer on the line who wants to return $800 worth of encouraging crosses product because she says they are marred."
ronnie: "chuck, they aren't marred. they're perfect product. just this week silver dollar city in branson purchased four skids of the 'god's with you girl' sku."
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "i think the cross is perfect too, ronnie! perhaps later we can talk a little more about the price Christ paid for our sins."
ronnie: "whatever chuck. just tell little miss thang that we aren't taking those crosses back."
chuck smith, c.s.s.: "nancy, thank you for holding. unfortunately we cannot allow you to reject the cross. however, I would be willing to offer you a 10% credit to help you mark down and market this product.