chuck smith, c.s.s.

the transcript of a call received on 8.9.05 at 9:38 p.m. e.s.t.

c.s.s.: "thank you for calling the homeschool resource center, my name is chuck, how can i help you?"

customer: "yes, i need a third grade curriculum."

c.s.s.: "ok. for what subject?"

customer: "all of them."

c.s.s.: "ok. have you homeschooled before or spoken with the homeschool legal defense association or a similar group about homeschooling?"

customer: "no. but william bennett said that a mediocre homeschool teacher is far superior to an above average public school teacher."

c.s.s.: "bingo! (laughter)"

customer: "what's so funny?"

c.s.s.: "it's just that william bennett, the man of virtue, apparently loves high stakes, er, nevermind. so, on to curricula. we've got the excellent switched on schoolhouse third grade pack which will provide a complete curricula on CD-Rom."

customer: "i wouldn't let a computer in my house."

c.s.s.: "ok. we have the excellent lifepac sets which provide thorough workbook curricula or each subjects."

customer: "how much does that cost."

c.s.s.: "about $54.95 per subject."

customer: "ooh, no. that's too expensive!"

c.s.s.: "ok. we've got the highly respected curriculum from bob jones university press as well."

customer: "how much does that cost?"

c.s.s. "about $35 per subject."

customer: "ooh, no. that's too expensive! i'm on a tight budget. you have any of those on sale?"

c.s.s.: "curriculum? not really. but who can put a price on education?"

dead air........................

c.s.s.: "ma'am, why don't you put together an education budget and then call back early tomorrow morning. cindi works the morning shift. she is a delightful lady who would be more than willing to help you."

customer: "that sounds great! now tell me about those thomas kinkade coffee mugs you guys have on call-in special."