chuck smith, c.s.s.

to: bob townsend, director of c.s.s.
fr: chuck smith, c.s.s.
re: customer complaint

bob,

what can i say, another day, another disgruntled customer. this lady had the nerve to slander dr. welch and dr. land and confound the gospel of grace with the so-called sacraments. i saved you the trouble of speaking with her and the required paperwork by suggesting that her business is no longer welcome.

please overlook my slip of the tongue. i would never have said something like "race traitor" if i hadn't been in the midst of a forty day fast. this period of fasting has been rife with temptation and struggling with the flesh. thus, under duress, i am not surprised by my slip of the tongue.

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "thank you for calling lightway this is chuck. how can i help you?"

customer: "my name is mrs. kirkpatrick and i am interested in purchasing in the name of jesus by henri nouwen."

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "thank you mrs. kirkpatrick, let me see if we carry that title. i'm sorry, we do not carry that title at present."

mrs. kirkpatrick: "you don't carry in the name of jesus?!"

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "no, we don't. why is that such a surprise?"

mrs. kirkpatrick: "henri nouwen was one of the most influential catholic authors and spiritual directors of the twentieth century."

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "well there you go. we don't regularly carry books by authors who eat fish on friday."

mrs. kirkpatrick: "fish on friday? that is a horrible thing to say. the arrogance, the cultural snobbery, the horrible architecture...i cannot believe that i ever called myself a baptist!"

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "ever called? why would you ever want to leave the largest christ-centered denomination in north
america?"

mrs. kirkpatrick: "christ-centered, huh? i guess that's why your leaders are so quick to eschew war and turn the other cheek!"

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "say what you want about bobby welch and richard land, but at least they were converted by the gospel instead of good works. your so-called "conversion" makes me sick. who are you to question our godly leaders? next thing you know, you'll be voting for bill frist!"

mrs. kirkpatrick: "what does bill frist have to do with any of this?"

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "up in massachusetts, your conversion away from the gospel and your contempt towards the president might be acceptable. but down here in tennessee...well, let's just say that we would look at you like a race traitor."

mrs. kirkpatrick: "a race traitor? what is that?"

chuck smith, c.s.s. "i, uh, i didn't say that. i said instigator."

mrs. kirkpatrick: "no, you most definitely did say that. i would like to speak to your manager sir!"

chuck smith, c.s.s. "let me save you the time. i am the assistant to the manager and your business is no longer welcome with lightway. what does light have to do with darkness? good day, ma'am."

by the way, i hope your brother is close to singing "just another walk with thee." i trust that the time you've spent with him has been beneficial.

yours and His!

chuck smith
customer secret service