chuck smith, c.s.s.

to: bob townsend, director of c.s.s.
fr: chuck smith, c.s.s.
re: enemies at the gate

bob,

i had the most disconcerting call today about our "turn off the book of daniel and turn on to touched by an angel" e-cast. this customer, who allegedly loves our company because of our beth moore resources, is incredibly angry about our advocacy for decency and association with the afa. i could provide more commentary and condemnation of this customer's opinions, but i'll let her speak for herself.

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "thank you for calling lightway's constructive criticism line this chuck, how can i help you?"

customer: "my name is mrs. lanie adams and i live in little rock, arkansas. i wanted to call you because, hmph, because.."

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "let it out mrs. adams, speak your mind and be reconciled so that you can once again approach god's altar."

mrs. adams: "i cannot believe that you have the nerve to tell me what not to watch on television! unlike your little fascist friends at the american fundamentalist family association. i actually watched the book of daniel on the wb last friday night and i thought it was heartwarming."

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "on the wb? oh, that's right, you are fortunate to reside in the viewing areas of one of the few righteous nbc affiliates who refused to carry this reprehensible show. good for you!"

mrs. adams: "have you listened to a word i said? your are interfering in my personal life!"

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "ma'am, it was not our intention to interfere. we only wanted to encourage you to watch a more biblical presentation of the christian life, wherein christians regularly encounter beautiful angels instead of a compromising "jesus." once you've settled down a bit, you'll realize that most pastors, well - those who reside safely outside of the unbiblical "priesthood" of the episcopalian church anyway - do not struggle with addictions, there is simply no such thing as gay republicans and jesus wouldn't dare utter advice like "life is hard." after all, his yoke is easy and his burden is light."

mrs. adams: oh yes, i forgot that the garden of gethsemanae was filled with fat cherubic angels and funny little garden gnomes instead of blood, sweat and tears. i also suppose you've never heard of the "log cabin republicans" or the addiction of the southern baptist convention's very own, lonnie latham, who left his growing congregation over in tulsa to seduce male oklahoma city police officers to have sex with him. you're right, mister smith, it's my understanding of the christian life that's unrealistic, not yours."

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "all that aside, ma'am, if you'll forgive me for saying so, it sounds like you've surrendered to sin instead of finding victory over it. perhaps you need to re-read beth moore's penultimate book and learn how to break free from your low expectations of the christian life. moreover, if the themes and plots of touched by an angel don't connect with you or you're uncomfortable watching a show that features a black woman like della reese, perhaps you should purchase our specially priced dvd set of little house on the prairie. we think that you'll find the christian faith and life of the wilder family far more indicative of the christian experience than that damned - i'm speaking from god's perspective here, not cursing - book of daniel program."

mrs. adams: "uncomfortable watching black women? little house on the prairie? if y'all want to keep living the christian life of 1955 that's fine by me. but don't expect me to applaud your poorly disguised fundamentalism or purchase any more beth moore resources from your company. from now on, i'm moving over to amazon."

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "mrs. adams, if you want to consort with the whore of babylon, that's your business. but as for us, we've come out of her and we're going to keep encouraging people to purchase righteous products and embrace biblical wisdom for godly men and women."

so there you go, bob, the chaff has once again separated itself from the wheat. i'm convinced that our stagnant profits won't start growing until we get rid of such unrighteous customers. i'm glad we're taking advantage of this opportunity to clearly communicate that lightway as well as the convention is no friend of sinners.

by the way, i've noticed that your company profile on our intranet site still says that you're a deacon at green meadows. i'm more than willing to communicate your resignation to the v.p., if you're uncomfortable doing so.

hope to see you at church this saturday for justice sunday III. can you believe that some liberals want to cast out alito simply because he's a catholic? what kind of people would discriminate against a candidate based on affiliation with the roman catholic church? i'm sure that our righteous advocacy will ultimately obliterate their objections!

yours and his,

chuck smith, c.s.s.