chuck smith, c.s.s.

to: bob townsend, director of c.s.s.
fr: chuck smith, c.s.s.
re: customer complaint

bob,

the following is a transcript of a call I took this morning. this customer was as irritable as an independent baptist. we might want to contact her pastor and explain the diversity of our product selection to him. we wouldn't want this little spark to set a whole congregation on fire. surely our sales of beth moore prayer cards and rickshaw rally curricula would suffer as a result!

chuck smith, c.s.s.:: "thank you for calling lightway christian stores, this is chuck, how can i help you?"

customer: "how can you call yourselves christian? you disgust me!"

chuck smith, c.s.s.:: "excuse me, ma'am. in case you were unaware, we are owned by the southern baptist convention, which we all know is the capital 'O' in orthodoxy."

customer:: "well, if you're so orthodoks"

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "excuse me, that's or-tho-do-x."

customer: "whatever. if you are so, so darn right, why do you carry a heretical book like bertrand russell's why i am not a christian?

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "we carry it because many of our spectacular seminaries are now offering doctoral degrees in worldview studies and this book often serves as a case study in these programs. in case you hadn't heard, worldview analysis enables our world-class theologians to identify the errors in the major world religions and so convert nominal muslims, hindus and other pagans into bible-believing baptists."

customer:: "well my bible tells me to avoid even the smell of tainted flesh. so i would never allow such a heretical volume to lie side by side with my bible!"

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "we appreciate your convictions, ma'am and will be sure not to sell you a copy."

customer:: "not sell me a copy? is that all you have to say for yourselves? well, you're going to be lucky, mister, if i shop here anymore at all! i happen to believe, along with all true baptists, that the bible is all you need to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

chuck smith, c.s.s.: "we appreciate your convictions, ma'am. now, i don't want to keep you from your bible study, so i'm going to let you go."

customer: "now you wait just one minute! tell me about that featured item again, the faith of george w. bush. i just love our good, godly commander in chief!"

i tried to ensure that this transcript is as accurate as possible. i am sure that you will respond to this potential problem in a timely manner.

by the way, i've noticed that you haven't been attending our tuesday morning men's breakfasts lately. i hope that you aren't surrendering to the struggle and are keeping your ever growing passion for the titans submissive to your service of our Lord Jesus Christ. if you need to lean on me, brother, i'm always available!

sincerely,

chuck smith, c.s.s.